You have heard the phrase, “Man’s rejection is often God’s protection.” It makes sense. Some of life’s greatest triumphs come out of our greatest moments of loss and defeat. The difference between those who meet rejection with defeat or with victory is all in how we process the hurt and learn from it.
Now let’s be honest all of us deals with rejection at one time or another. We lose that sporting game as kids on the baseball field. We don’t get into the college of our choice. We don’t get the job we applied for. We don’t get the promotion. We don’t get the guy we wanted or the gal we just had to have. We don’t get the life we thought we would have when we wake up at 40 and say, “what the hell happened and who am I?” Whatever the case, we have all been there. And the good news is this: If you face it, mourn it, and learn from it you can come out better than when you went in. I know. I have been there. And I find myself there right now.
I experienced a painful rejection at the hands of someone I care for earlier in the week. But what I had to quickly do was not allow myself to wallow, blame myself, or sink into a hurtful depression. Instead, I faced the fact that it was over. I had done all I could. I had stretched myself for many months, going to places emotionally I never imagined possible within my heart and soul because I let love and a desire to restore guide me. I got past the hurt that was done to me, owned my part, and humbled myself so that I could get to the healing. I so wanted us to heal. I don’t regret that at all. How could I? Doing what we know is right, and leading with our hearts when we love and care for people is exactly what we should do. As my mother told me when I sat with her with tears in my eyes at yet another hurtful blow from this person she said, “Baby, never ever feel bad for treating people well, and for trying to do the right thing. The problem is not with you. It is with them. I know it hurts, but you have to focus on what you have and not what you think you lost. You have so many people in your life who love and adore you. Why do you keep looking at someone who has demonstrated over and over that you just don’t matter to them. Let it and them go.”
Hard words to hear and even harder words to digest. But how right she was and always is in matters such as this.
My point is this: Rejection is going to happen. Even when we have done all we can. We will lose that person we loved. We will lose that job. We will lose that goal. We will lose that opportunity. We will lose that friend. The key is how we RESPOND and REACT to the rejection. Don’t miss this. How I responded to this latest rejection was a defining moment of who I truly am, and who I say that I am. I want those both to be in alignment; so I decided to practice what I preach. Self-control, to cover with grace, send loving thoughts and well wishes to this person, to disengage from any rancor, stay in a place of forgiveness and love; but to also be clear, real clear and RESOLVED that I will not beg anyone to love me, care for me, be my friend, or treat me well. If you have to beg someone to care for you, you need to get a grip. People who love you, show love toward you. They don’t need to be told or reminded to do so. It is REFLEX. If you hear nothing else I say; hear this: YOU ARE A GIFT TO SOMEONE. THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE, CHERISH, ADORE, HONOR, BEFRIEND, RESPECT, CARE FOR AND CELEBRATE YOU. Trust that and believe it or no-one else will. When we accept their rejection as God’s protection, all will be well. I promise.
Today’s message and Twitter chat provided 7 Steps to dealing with Rejection. Follow the hashtag #GetOverIt or dial 559-726-1299 code 874081.
The bottom line is rejection is NOT fatal. Rejection is just a second chance to get it right somewhere else. If people have rejected you, hurt you, made you feel worthless, used you, laughed at your goodness, and hurt you without cause. Ask yourself what I had to ask myself: “Why would you want a person like this in your life?” Let them Go. As Bishop Jakes says in his famous rant, “Let them go”. If people can walk away from you let them walk. I made that decision the other day. And I am firm. There will be no looking back. I am done. I am not angry, bitter or upset. I am hurt but that is okay. It will pass because I will walk through it with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child.
I will use this rejection as a sign of my Divine protection, and God’s providential projection, for my amazing 2013 direction!