Manipulation is something we all do from time to time. Most successful people actually share the trait of being strategically manipulative in common. To be manipulative is to control, to advocate, to get your way. It is a tool in the tool box of life that we all use from time to time. However, when manipulation becomes a way of life; a way of dealing with others, and a way of handling our “process” in life we are headed for trouble and we will inevitably leave a trail of wounded and maimed bodies in the pathway behind us.
The only way to deal with manipulative people or situations is to hit them straight on with the truth. Your truth. I said before that I live my life by a code. That code starts with my faith and a core set of values that govern my public and private conduct. My code is who I am when no-one is looking. The reason we get manipulated is when we don’t trust our instincts, when we don’t honor ourselves, when we don’t stand on what we KNOW to be right and we allow someone who has no code to talk us out of what we KNOW to be the right way to live, to speak, to entreat, and to love people.
Think back to anytime you “abandoned yourself” and why you did so. I guarantee you that you were in one of the following mind-sets:
- You were feeling low about your life or self-worth
- You were in a place of needy-ness you were hungry for love, for success, or for connection with someone
- You loved that person more than you loved yourself-you were attached, and dependent in an unhealthy way
Anyone of the aforementioned states of mind are usually when we are most subject to manipulation that is not good for us. I have been through this. I let myself be disrespected and manipulated by some people close to me. I started to allow their brokenness and dysfunction to dictate how I would function with them. We teach people how to treat us. If you let a man abuse you, he will abuse you more. If you let a friend use you, they will use you more. If you allow yourself to be dishonored, people will dishonor you. It all starts with how you love YOU. Loving someone should not hurt. It should not be a roller-coaster. Love and friendship is a blessing. It is reciprocal. It is honorable. It covers. It is long-suffering. It is healing. It restores. It respects. It thrives. It stands the test of time.
Our podcast today 559-726-1299 code 874081 is all about spotting when you are dealing with manipulative people, and knowing how to protect yourself from their manipulations. It is critical that you get this life skill down early. It will save you much heartache and bless you even more. Have a great weekend. See you on SaturdayLove Chat tomorrow!