[NEW] Sunday Sentiment: It’s Time to Live Outside of The Box

box1Editor’s Note: Happy Sunday.  This will be my last blog post until we get the new website up (IAmSophiaNelson.com). I also will finish up “The Woman Code: 20 Powerful Keys to Unlock Your Life (Revell),” this coming week.  It will be in stores by mid October 2014. Am going to take a much needed vacation. Then come back and resume my duties as a writer, journalist, corporate leadership trainer, and TV personality. 2014 is going to be a really good year, despite a very challenging start!

Today, I want to challenge you to find the courage to start living the life you were meant to live. No more excuses, no more hiding. It is time to get out of the box, cut it to pieces, throw it away, and create the life of your dreams. NOW, before you say “oh Sophia that is easy for someone like you to say. Look at where you are.” Let me tell you something, you don’t know where I am, or what is going on for real in my life. But, I can tell you THIS: I worked hard for everything I got. Against terrible odds, haters, mean people, betrayals, lack of support from some family, some friends. But I got here, and I am still re-inventing, re-creating my life everyday. I wake up everyday thinking of what my NEXT is. I am never going to be stuck in the here and NOW. Life is all about shifting, transforming, shedding, and redefining our lives.

I know some of you women and men feel like this: Well I am too old. There is nothing left for me. I will just do what I have always done. Hang out with who I always hung with. I will live a status quo, comfortable (but really uncomfortable life) and I will just live and someday die. HUH??? Say What?? NO. That is not who you are called to be. We all have gifts. But gifts do not just manifest without us being willing to do the work and thrive. Gifts take time to develop, they take mentorship, setbacks, hardships and cultivating. You will never reach your next level in life, if you remain stuck in what you have always done.

I believe God puts people in our lives who help us to SHIFT, and places us in theirs to do the same. I can think of two women I met socially in the past few years, both of who are enormously smart, talented, and gifted. BUT, they will NEVER get to their next level because they are stuck in “this is how I do it”, “it’s my way or the highway”, they thrive on control, and keeping their box tightly sealed.  They don’t like hard work. They have become lazy. (You know I keep it 100%). This is very common. They are middle-aged beyond 50 and stuck. And that is sad because they can be so much more, if only they would get rid of that awful box labeled: BEWARE: This is my life–this is all there is–it’s safe in here.

I did some shedding recently of some people who simply do not belong in the front row of my life. This is very important that you hang around, talk to, and run with people who share your life Code (values), and who are headed where you are headed. DO NOT MISS THIS! You do not have time for slow people, controlling, walled off, boxed in, rigid, inflexible, volatile (one minute they are on your team, the next they are off), small minded, envious, unreliable, emotionally challenged, toxic, distracting people. You just do not. These people will drain you with constant drama and emotional upheaval that serves only to keep you off your life course.

It does NOT mean that these people are bad people. They are not. They just aren’t going where you are going. They don’t share your super-powers of speed, vision, intellect, power, access, networks, creativity, love of people, love of life and most of all your ability to color outside of the lines of life, and stand on boxes, versus living in them.  They also have not been where you have been, had to sacrifice what you have sacrificed.  It is lonely, and hard to be a person who colors outside of the lines, and who shreds boxes, labels, and limitations.

Eagles fly with Eagles. So why do you continue to hang out with Chickens, Buzzards, and Pigeons??? Those are all fine birds, but none of them can do what the Eagle can do. None of them! The Eagle soars above because he is a superior bird. And he only flocks with others Eagles. You want to change your life? Start hanging with people who get you, who like you, who will not abandon you, who can deal with you, who can TALK to you, HELP you, LIFT you and most of all be LOYAL to you. And understand that YOU must be all of those things in RETURN. Trust me I learned this very recently. I cannot bring everybody along with me. I cannot make a chicken an Eagle. It just won’t work!

My word for the day is: GET OUT OF THE BOX. And please, get out of your own way! You are blocking your destiny. You need to be with people who will push you higher. Yes, they will challenge you. Check you. Rebuke you. Hold you close. Even make you crazy at times, but they will always be pushing you to LIVE higher to your purpose. It’s time to get out of the BOX! Come on, you CAN do this!!!

Have a great day. A great week! A great start to SPRING 2014!!

Love you!

Sophia A. Nelson, Esquire

6 thoughts on “[NEW] Sunday Sentiment: It’s Time to Live Outside of The Box

  1. Hello Songbird Sophia,
    Great column. You so vividly describe how the adversity in our life is key to the diversity we must live, share, and care with ourselves and others. The gift we do often recognize is: (Gift – God Is Fine Tuning). Whoever we choose for our spiritual strength (my choice is God, Jesus, And Holy Spirit), all of us run from adversity until we become stronger. You are strong! We all will one day stand tall in the midst of the storms knowing they have a beginning and ending. (Brrrrr for DC, VA., etc.) Boxes used as shelters in the storm eventually become water logged, lose their shapes, revealing what everyone already knows what is inside including ourselves. Discard the boxed distractions in your life before the storms.

  2. Ms. Nelson,
    BTW I gave four of the five books “Black Woman Redefined” away. One to the postal clerk at the post office ( male). One to the waiter (male) at one of my favorite soup, salads, and subs eatery. One to a mother of a girl scout selling cookies outside of the grocery store. And the final one to an office staff (female) at my doctor’s office.

    The final one I need to hold on to a little longer before passing it on. I actually had to stop reading it close to the last two chapters. I have already skimmed the entire book and the personal stories at the end are a source of strength. The chapter about the church and women of the church was very emotional. My mother described this behavior to me over forty years ago. After reading that chapter I had a very peaceful / rested sleep during the night. I even dreamed a peaceful moment with her. My mom and dad have both passed over 25 years ago. She was only five feet tall. She raised six boys and two girls by herself after divorcing my alcoholic and womanizing dad. She told me about this and how she wanted to protect us. My mother passed away three years after working for the school system and retiring with twenty-six years of service cleaning the school classrooms and other places.

    I needed to read that chapter and better understand what she was telling me at such a young age. Now, the mourning is easier because you took the time to write, share and care. Thanks for living outside of the box!

  3. Attorney Nelson,
    Congratulations on successful completion of your new book. Your Team did an excellent job with the cover. In my earlier comments about adversity: “adversity in our life is key to the diversity,” I came across this article. (Marine in recruiting ad hopes to inspire disadvantaged youths: http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/article/20140320/NEWS/303240023 ). This is so familiar to my early childhood and successful completion of military service / retirement in the Armed Forces.

    If you are able to consider adding anything else to “Women Code” please think about my mother’s favorite song by Aretha Franklin: “RESPECT.” I am going to take my fourth sabbatical and work on several books myself as therapy from being a Wounded Warrior. Talk to you in a few years.

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